Mar 20
Stop Anti-Bullying Efforts

bullying2According to NASPA – Student Affairs Administrators in Higher Education – 30% of children are regularly involved in bullying and “everyday 160,000 students stay home from school because they are afraid of being bullied.”  The trend to address this growing issue is referred to as “anti-bullying” and it’s not working.

It’s time to stop anti-bullying efforts!

Google “anti-bullying” and you will discover approximately 100,000,000+ results. Review the NASP Bullying Workgroup’s presentation “School Bullying and Intervention: Tips for the School Psychologist” and you will find the word bully (in some form) used 145+ times among 73 slides and that does not include website references.  Basic physiology indicates we get more of what we focus on. By focusing on the symptom of bullying we are not solving the disease which is a fundamental lack of self-confidence among children.

It’s time to focus on CONFIDENCE BUILDING instead of anti-bullying.

bul·ly /ˈbo͝olē/ Noun  A person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker. In order for a bully to exist one person must appear emotionally weaker than another.  (The reference to physical weakness is not included because instances of physical attack should be addressed as assault not bullying.)  Attempts to insulate children from being emotionally hurt exacerbate the problem because we are not providing them with the coping skills necessary to succeed in social situations today or to survive in the harsh world that awaits beyond school.

It’s time to strengthen our children to understand the power of their natural talents so they can build on their individual gifts.

Common characteristics of students vulnerable to bullying include: shy, sensitive, lack of social skills, insecure, anxious, sad, cautious and they suffer from low self-esteem. It’s no surprise there is a “culture of silence” around the issue of bullying because we need to teach children to use their voice. It takes confidence to standup for yourself, it takes guts to standup for others.  Until we serve the real needs of all young people by building confidence and self-love the silence will continue.

It’s time for parents to make their voice heard!  Ask for what you want – strong, confident children with the skills to stand up for themselves, their values and for others – instead of focusing on what you don’t want. 


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There is no greater gift you can give a child than the gift of self-awareness and confidence.