Jul 9

In the Office – Caught in the middle

Q:  I work with a small team and two of my colleagues don’t get along. They don’t say anything to each other but instead come to me.  I want to help, but I feel like I end up taking sides or I’m caught in the middle.  What do I do?  

A:  Great question! It’s often easier for people to tell their story to a third party rather than going directly to the person with whom they have an issue because it allows the individual to “vent” without consequence.  Since some people need to talk through a situation to gain clarity, venting is fine as long as there is a commitment to take action.  However, it becomes unhealthy when the complaining has no intended result except to reinforce one colleague’s story about the other.

You cannot fix a communication issue between two people who won’t communicate openly with each other.  Therefore the first step is to encourage them to talk.  You may even suggest they seek out your manager and/or a member of the human resources team to help with the conversation.  The second step is to remove yourself from the situation.  If they are willing to talk with each other, it will be important that you encourage them to continue to communicate in that format instead of coming to you.  If they won’t talk to each other, it will be vital for you to remove yourself from the situation.

It can be professionally distracting and emotionally exhausting to be brought into other people’s issues at work.  Remember to guard your energy and manage your environment.  The best way to be a supportive colleague is to encourage direct communication so you don’t feel like you’re taking sides or caught in the middle.

Laura Treonze, serves as Chief Life Strategist with LMT Consulting, which helps executives and teams create massive success through self-awareness. Her life-changing approach has transformed individuals and families and has redefined the way non-profits and corporations “do” business.