Dec 13
From the archives: Home for the holidays
Q: Since our children were young, we have traveled to see family for the holidays. Now they are getting older and have started to mention they want to stay home Christmas Day; what should I do?
A. Great question! The real question is what do YOU want to do? Some people fall into the habit of participating in holiday activities because they never intentionally decided on their own ideal holiday experience. For others, the sense of obligation (or guilt) keep family members attending events that are geographically challenging to attend or no longer enjoyable. You have to own your reason for participating.
If being with extended family is an important part of your tradition, share your feelings with your kids and help them create reasons for attending they can own. Ask them, “what do you like most about being with extended family during the holidays?” It’s also important to hear and understand their reasons for wanting to stay home and use it as a base to help them get resourceful in creating their ideal experience around their current circumstances. Let the kids come up with a solution, “knowing we are going to travel on Christmas Day, what is something we can do together to make it easier/more fun (use their language) for you?”
If you agree with the kids and don’t want to travel during the holiday, you must own your truth and share it with your extended family. For most people this isn’t an easy conversation and may not be something you can implement immediately. Asking yourself, “what will make you comfortable and confident having the conversation” is the best place to start. From there it’s helpful to prepare family for the change. Maybe this year you have the conversation for a change in plans for next year. Give yourself the time you need to feel good about the decision you have made for you and your family. Give yourself the gift of a wonderful holiday experience – you are worth it!
Laura Treonze, serves as Chief Life Strategist with LMT Consulting, which helps executives and teams create massive success through self-awareness. Her life-changing approach has transformed individuals and families and has redefined the way non-profits and corporations “do” business.
