Oct 24
How to be Expressive When You’re not an Extrovert
The ability to convey your thoughts and feelings are not dependent on how you do it. There have been quietly powerful people throughout history (for example, Mother Theresa or Ghandi) so it’s important not to equate the two. For you to truly express yourself you must stay true to what’s natural for you and work with the gifts you already have. A word of warning, this may require you to push yourself outside of your comfort zone slightly, however you don’t want to push so far it’s unnatural for you.
Follow these few simple steps to help you get started:
- The most important question to ask is what is the result you want from being more expressive? It’s easy for the goal to get lost in how you think you need to achieve it, so define your outcome first. An example could be: My goal is to share my true self with the people at work. (Frequently, less expressive people are outgoing at home and with people they are comfortable with but more reserved when they are at work or in less comfortable situations with strangers.)
- Ask yourself, how do I define expressive? It’s impossible to make long-lasting change when you’re using generic language, so get specific. Make a list of 10+ ways you would like to show up as your expressive self. Some examples could include: sharing my ideas 1x per team meeting, talking to a stranger in an elevator, or saying good morning to 5 people in the office I wouldn’t normally talk to.
- Rate your willingness to be/do each of the expressive items you noted above on a scale of 1-10 (1 being I would never do it, 10 being I would do it today and be totally comfortable). If anything you noted is below a 5 it’s unlikely you’ll do it or ever truly feel comfortable doing it. If it’s between 5-7 ask yourself what would it take for the score to be a 8-10 in terms of comfort level. Remember you don’t want to be what you’re not–your goal is to become more expressive NOT to be an extrovert.
- Pick ONE (only one) item that you scored a 8, 9 or 10 and schedule time to take action. Ask yourself what makes this action a MUST for me right now? In general people don’t do what they should–they only do what they MUST. In order to stay consistent with any change you MUST define your MUST!
- Since this type of action isn’t natural for you, in the beginning you want to schedule it. This will help build the mental muscle until it becomes an unconscious action. You also want the action item to be simple and safe to ensure success and encourage future actions steps.
Your lack of self-expression is a loss for everyone – your family, your colleagues, and your community. You can be expressive without being an extrovert by being yourself and sharing that with the world.
Laura Treonze, serves as Chief Life Strategist with LMT Consulting, which helps executives and teams create massive success through self-awareness. Her life-changing approach has transformed individuals and families and has redefined the way non-profits and corporations “do” business.
