Mar 12

In the Office – Staying present during conversations

Q. I manage a large team of people with more work to do each day than there is time to complete it; as a result I find it increasingly difficult to pay attention to individuals when they are talking to me.  I’m starting to get negative feedback from direct reports about it.  What can I do?

A. Great question! The natural pace of some minds is faster than others.  Attempts to adapt and slow your mind can be energetically exhausting and lead to frustration.  With that being said, it’s important to be present during conversations – personally and professionally.  Below are a few systems for success for you to consider the next time you find yourself mentally drifting off while someone else is speaking:

1. Stay present by asking questions.  There’s an old saying, no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care; one of the most powerful ways to show someone you care is to ask them questions.  Stay engaged by actively looking for places you can ask questions about the conversation.
2. Pre-framing conversations.  Begin the conversation by setting a time limit.  For example, “Please know I only have 5 minutes to talk…”  This will alert the other person of a time constraint triggering them to focus and making it more comfortable for you to exit the conversation when you need to.
3. Vocalize your communication standards.  This is especially important to use with people who ask a lot of questions or need more detail than is natural for you to provide.  For example: “What are the 3 most important questions you need answered to make progress on this project?”  The statement will prompt them to narrow down their questions to those that help them make progress.

Being aware of when you mentally leave the conversation is the first step.  Staying present is a vital communication skill and like any (mental) muscle it takes time and repetition.  Be kind to yourself and keep working at it.

Laura Treonze, serves as Chief Life Strategist with LMT Consulting, which helps executives and teams create massive success through self-awareness. Her life-changing approach has transformed individuals and families and has redefined the way non-profits and corporations “do” business.