Jan 11

Parenting Corner – How to discipline my kids

Q:  When I grew up spanking was a common form of discipline but it is taboo now.  Are spankings bad for kids? 

A. Great question!  There is a lot of discussion available online around spanking vs. non-spanking; the goal here is to consider a different perspective.  What changes when you remove the judgment (is spanking right or wrong/good or bad) and go with the end in mind? Is compliance through physical punishment the lesson you want to instill in your children?  The answer may not be as cut and dry as you think; consider military training and their success in getting 1M+ men and woman to serve or the parent who used running as punishment for her strong-willed elementary school child who now is a high school x-country star.  When you consider your result there may be a place for physical punishment, however it is unlikely to have a long-term positive impact without purpose.

The key to discipline is purposeful parenting = communication, standards and consistency.  Purposeful parenting begins with communication about expectations.  Conversation should begin when kids are pre-school age.  Next it’s important to set standards for consequences and rewards; they must be clear and agreed upon in advance (NOTE: agreement doesn’t mean the kids will “like” the consequences, it means they consent to their existence.)  Finally, consistency is the glue that keeps it all together and is often the greatest challenge for parents.  Pick your battles.  Do not set a standard for discipline you can not follow through with consistently.  In the end, spankings may not be “bad” for kids, but long-term positive impact can only be achieved through purposeful discipline.

Laura Treonze, serves as Chief Life Strategist with LMT Consulting, which helps executives and teams create massive success through self-awareness. Her life-changing approach has transformed individuals and families and has redefined the way non-profits and corporations “do” business.