May 17

Parenting Corner – Setting goals

This week’s blog isn’t a question but instead shares a personal experience I’m having with my daughter. I hope it serves you in business in and life.  ~ Laura Treonze

Looking at pictures from Tuesday’s track meet, the last one of the regular season, I smile with pride as I think about Taylor’s year as a freshman runner. She earned a varsity letter in x-country and indoor track and she will continue to practice with the members of the team who have qualified for FCIACs and States.

As an executive coach I look for patterns and work with Taylor to help her understand her own patterns. This year we’ve learned a lot about endurance – physical and emotional. (Her experience is similar to what I see with people in business so consider the analogy as you read her struggle.) At the start of the “season” she’s excited, works hard building, then the routine of the season sets in and she peaks, then she puts pressure on herself to get to the next level but her energy is not sustainable and she’s already tired, she self-sabotages and mentally stops competing even though there are races remaining. Despite her reduced energy and inconsistent mindset, she continues to “do” the running but she is no longer “being” the runner she is in her heart and it shows in her times. The season officially ends; she takes a break and stops all workouts for 2-3 weeks. The next season begins, she has a renewed spirit and she starts from scratch – again.

The lack of consistent energy prevents her from building the long-term momentum she needs to continue to beat personal records and compete at the level she wants. Ultimately the highs and lows don’t create the return expected for the effort and the sport she loves feels physically and emotionally exhausting. The competitive drive during the start of each season followed by inactivity also sends confusing messages to her body making her prime for injury. Additionally, she is no longer receiving the much needed external recognition her personality thrives on, because she sees herself as inconsistent, that’s how she shows up and therefore how others see her.

Endurance is the power to withstand an unpleasant process. Taylor will endure for a short period of time and then she falls back to what is comfortable: comfortable training and comfortable results. She wants to break the pattern but doesn’t quite know how. This is when it’s important to take a step back to evaluate and break down the process.

My advice is to identify her result and chunk down the experience into short wins. TAKE NOTE OF THAT STATEMENT: Chunk down the experience into short wins. Taylor, like most people, identify a result and create a plan for achieving it; the challenge is often the result is overly optimistic, feels far away, and even if she creates a plan, her big initial push isn’t sustainable after the initial excitement is gone. The difference in chunking down the experience is she will create a process for achieving smaller wins faster so she can build on her success and prevent the hard and sudden stops.

For example: Taylor wanted to reduce her time this season by almost 30 seconds. This is a huge jump and her first mistake was to set a goal based on what she needed to qualify for States instead of a goal based on where she was at the start of the season. Since she didn’t believe she could achieve that result, she wasn’t fully committed to it and therefore she didn’t practice to reduce her time incrementally. Instead she followed the regular practice schedule – some days she worked harder by running with the faster girls and some days she let herself be comfortable by practicing with slower runners.

To approach her goal by chunking down her experience she needs to start at the beginning and consider the following:

1. Evaluate ecology: “What is a goal I am 100% committed to achieving knowing I didn’t practice between seasons, I won’t be running during spring break, I will miss 3 practices because of commitments with other school activities and I like to have at least one slow run day per week?” (It’s important to consider life’s circumstances to create a result that is realistic considering your circumstances.)
2. Define result: “I am running the mile 10 seconds faster this season than last season.” (Since your brain has two jobs – to answer your questions and prove you right – you want to create an “I am” statement so your brain is constantly searching for the answers to help you achieve your result.)
3. Establish small wins: What milestone do I have to reach each week to meet this goal in 7 weeks? “I have to run 1.4 seconds faster each week to reach my result.” Break down the goal, monitor and measure progress each week so you can adjust accordingly.
4. Create a process that reaches milestones and considers ecology:  What is my process for reaching this milestone given my life circumstances?
5. Define the experience: What do I want my experience to be during this process? “I am building my endurance and improving my time by 1.4 seconds each week while having fun with my friends.” Most behavioral styles aren’t equipped to “push past the pain” over longer periods of time, so it’s important to define the experience you want while achieving your goal.
6. Prepare for setbacks: What could prevent me from achieving my result? What do I do if/when a setback happens? “I could injure myself; depending on the injury I would re-evaluate my goals and create a new plan.” “I could miss my goal one week; re-evaluate my goal and create a new plan. ” Never try to catch-up when you hit a setback because you will always feel behind; instead re-evaluate and create new goals based on where you are at that time.
7. Create systems for success: What systems/tools will I use to create the experience I want while achieving this result? This list should include as many options as possible to help stay resourceful when the initial excitement runs out. (Note: This is not a “to do” list, instead it is a list of resources to reinforce the type of experience described keeping in mind having fun is an important part of her result.)

Some examples for Taylor could include:

• Pick a fast buddy to run with each week and stay with them
• Earn slow run days only when weekly goals are reached
• Find an accountability partner to share daily running stats
• Check-in with the coach each week for new tools/techniques to break through the next level
• Watch 1 video per week to improve running technique
• Cross-train one day each weekend
• Plan monthly social event with team
• Post inspirational running quotes (room, locker, and on my notebooks)
• Share inspirational running quotes with team
• Help another runner believe in herself

By having Taylor define the result and experience she wants, creating small wins based on incremental weekly improvements, identifying set-backs in advance, and creating systems for success, the process becomes sustainable because she has made it enjoyable for herself. This approach also provides her constant feedback allowing her to adjust her plan along the way if needed, and gives positive encouragement as she hits her small wins. Long term, it teaches her how to build the endurance and resilience to achieve her dreams (in running and in life…and it can do the same for you!)

Laura Treonze, serves as Chief Life Strategist with LMT Consulting, which helps executives and teams create massive success through self-awareness. Her life-changing approach has transformed individuals and families and has redefined the way non-profits and corporations “do” business.