Mar 8
Parenting Corner – Underage drinking
Q: My freshman high school student wants to go to a party where there will be alcohol; do I let him go knowing there will be underage drinking?
A: Great question! Many students would not tell their parents there will be alcohol at a party, so it’s important to recognize your son’s honesty and commend him for it. The reality is your son will face this moral dilemma more than once during the next four years; it’s helpful to approach the topic with questions that get him thinking about the consequences for participating in illegal behavior. For example: “What’s important about attending this party? What do you see are the risks of attending a party where there is alcohol and underage drinking? What do you do if the cops show up? What do you see as the consequences of the cops showing up? What happens if someone takes a picture of you with a drink in your hand and posts it on social media? What do you see as the consequences of that photo being posted? Are those risks you want to take as a freshman?”
If you decide to let your son go it will be important to discuss possible scenarios with him, such as: What do you do if you see a fellow student passed out drunk? Who do you call if there is an emergency? What do you do if the person driving you home is drunk? What do you do if you are in an uncomfortable situation and want to come home? Be sure to provide him with the option to contact you or another trusted adult (some kids will not be comfortable contacting their own parent so it’s helpful to have an alternate person they can turn to – a grandparent, aunt or uncle, or older sibling, to name a few); this will help keep lines of communication open.
If you decide not to let your son go, be sure to explain your reasoning. NOTE: You don’t explain to gain agreement, you explain to increase understanding. It is impossible to keep teenagers away from alcohol; if they want it they will find a way to get it. Therefore it is important to use language that encourages his honesty and lets him know you are open to continuing the conversation around the topic in the future. Even if you disagree with underage drinking, the trust established through conversation will keep you connected to your teenager.
Laura Treonze, serves as Chief Life Strategist with LMT Consulting, which helps executives and teams create massive success through self-awareness. Her life-changing approach has transformed individuals and families and has redefined the way non-profits and corporations “do” business.
